What do I do?

 Someone from the Infusion Center asked me that today. My mind reeled with the question. It's not a matter of prioritizing to list off what I do or noticing how I react to being called out by the small intrusion but after our Complete Self Attunement intensive retreat which ended yesterday it's more about what/who am I, not what do I do. The things I do are really distant from me right now. The bodies and personalities that emerge from seeing or experiencing any of us are not the whole picture.

 It's in the stillness and the sensing into the space of inner environment and the willingness to stay with it and keep accenting the space of that environment-- to deepen into it without mind where the essential aspects of the quality of livingness emerge and blossom that essentially determines the space and then there are some unique incarnation things.. quite unknown about how we are the essence we turn out to emanate.

 And it's like sun kissed rose or light infused marble. It just is and it's alive and vibrant and that's what I'd like to say I do but that's a verb and maybe I'm more of an adverb sort of person for the time being.

I sit in the infusion center while Michael has chemo, I watch the letters appear below my fingers and my senses fill with the sounds and sights around me and then I drop in and just listen, just sense... give the space attention and let it bloom and take me with the peace I need with the healing energy we both need. Nothing else to do but be here in wholeness with the grace of ourselves being alive, getting chemotherapy.