A Request

 Michael's cytoreductive surgery (for abdominal cancer) is on Wednesday. Yesterday we went up to Lassen and skied above the Sulfur Works. The snow was heavy and wet and the wind was cold but we were out there and he was doing what he loves. My Michael from mountains is now organizing things for what comes next.

 So you'd think I'd have it more together but I'm just batting around like I always do. Of course I have a list but I've got no sense that I'm prepared for whatever happens. I think we are both just approaching the day with trepidation and respect but not with the fear of potential death or serious outcomes. Should we? I don't know, but this is more like heightened confusion than moving in wisdom, but at least we are together.

 Love and Beauty. The spring, friends, meaning of the work we are doing, our love of the earth and each other. What else can we do but move forward? We are older and retired and very, very lucky---whatever happens there is a sense of completion and harmony with just this irritating hump to get over...The promise of a hard pull.
If you read this, wherever you are, whoever you are, please send Michael a kind thought on Wednesday. Thank you.